December 9, 2011

Tanggal-Antok Picture

I miss writing but work consumes my energy that when I'm back home, I just take that time to rest.

Speaking of work, it confirms some of my traits (good and bad) na naiisip ko lang tungkol sa sarili ko dati. Ok, tumutugtog ngayon ang 'If I'm Not In Love', one of the songs namin ng first boyfriend ko. Haha. Going back. So there, I realized that I tend to be really selfless at times. Parang there's so much guilt I have in my heart kapag may hindi ako nagawa or wala akong ginagawa (kahit hindi ganoon ka-necessary). To the point na minsan nako-compromise na pati ang pagkain ko. Nagi-guilty ako na ipa-pamper ko na sarili ko when at the back of my mind, alam kong may dapat pa akong ayusin at asikasuhin. Sa trabaho kasi namin, I'm a nurse by the way, showing that you care is important. Although pwede namang ipeke yun, there's never a time that I did. Kung may actions ako that suggests compassion, most likely, that's real. Yun pa ang isa kong nadiscover sa sarili ko lately. I'm becoming more transparent. Compared kasi before, kapag galit ako, as much as possible, I keep it to myself. Ngayon, nasasabi ko na sya. Kung naiinis ako, halata talagang naiinis ako. Hindi ko kayang makipag-plastikan like things are OK. Just like earlier...

I have a colleague who's been with me for 2 months already. I was ahead of her in terms of length of stay. So I was the one who taught her how things work in the clinic since I was there first. I get that she has kinda slow pick-up pero kung pati naman ang common sense maiiwan mo sa bahay, patay tayo dyan. :\ Two months na kasi sya sa clinic, kahit papaano sana alam na nya ang basic. Pero hindi pa din nya na-master. Naiinis ako kapag napapagalitan sya kasi ako ang nagturo sa kanya eh. On my part, I think I did enough to guide her. Ang kinaiinis ko pa parang wala lang sa kanya na napapagalitan sya. Parang after an incident, pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kabila. Though naisip ko din, yun ang way nya to adapt yun nga lang hindi ko man lang sya makitaan ng effort na magtanong dun sa mga mali nya, para next time sana alam na nya ang gagawin. One more thing na nakakainis ay yung kailangang paulit-ulit mo pa ituro sa kanya kasi kapag naging matagal na ang interval ng isang same event, nalilimutan na nya agad. Gaaah! It just pisses me of big time.

OK. Wait. I don't hate her. I just like to see more commitment from her in doing our job. :) I'm not pissed anymore. I saw a picture of somebody that washed put the bad vibe. Haha. Even my sleepyhead changed mind and became wide awake coz of the picture.


Will try to update again tomorrow!

xx,
Thel

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