poetry

just trying it out again. :)

Nightmare
03/18/09

the girl's on her feet, on her wounded feet.
desperately finding a way out.
it is on her alley; the very same alley she'd made.
the very same she now know not.

she's trying to her best. enduring pain with each step.
she has to walk. she needs to walk.
she knows she should. but every bit will remain.
she cannot heal overnight.

The Way I Was

I think I'm starting to get dumber. Yes, i mean like a less wiser now.

Though my peers still look up at me, like *whoa*, like someone who's ready with an answer to quizzes and exams (which is, of course, not true), I still feel one big jerk. :D

I dunno, maybe I'm not happy with the way my grades are going. Well it's my fault, i know. I just can't find that spark again to study like real STUDY.

And oh! Plus the fact that I think I have better posts then. See those previous posts (most are poems) they were my works back during first year college. It's actually not the best, but it still amazes me whenever I try reading the 'me' before.

And here's one of them:

NOYPI
May 19, 2007

ikaw ay marupok..
pinarupok ng mga anay
na unti-unting nilalamon
ang iyong buong kaluluwa..

hindi mo ramdam..
dahil sa mga kasinungalingang
itinurok sa’yo ng mga anay..

ika’y paralisado na..
hindi ramdam ang sakit ng katotohanan..

kalahating ikaw ay libing na..
tinabunan ng pangakong walang pinatunguhan..

kumunoy ng dikta’y hinihigop ka,,
diktang ‘di mo alam kung para saan..

hinayaan mong turukan ka nila ng paulit-ulit..
ngayo’y nahihirapan kang makaramdam..
turok - hindi lunas sa sakit..
bagkus isang turok na pampamanhid..
pampamanhid sa nasyonalismo - sa pag-ibig sa bayan..

ika’y nilalang na may isip..
sa bawat desisyon, may pinagpipilian..
kung pinili mong maturukan
para sa panandaliang kaligayahan,
ihanda mo ang iyong sariling
tuluyang hindi makaramdam..
tuluyang mailibing,
at tuluyang lamunin ng kumunoy
at ng mga anay…

Anay na kahit bilyon pa sa bilang
ay maliliit pa rin upang hindi
makayanang mapuksa ng sama-sama..

Hmmmkey. Yes, I'm sort of patriotic. HAHA. I strongly believe, nobody will love somebody, unless he/she learns to love his own. I dunno what went to my mind to have the guts to write such. I think that was election days then, not so sure.

OK. OK. Guess that's all for now. Gotta go and find the suppressed writter in me and try to make meaningful posts again. :)

BTW, that's me on the photo, my edit as well. :)

Play It Right

what was said, had been said..
though i tried to compromise..
what was lost, had been lost..
though i tried to get it back..
what was gone, had been gone..
though i asked for a chance..
what was played cannot be rewinded..
now all i can do,
is jive with what i’m hearing..
enjoy every lyrics and tune..
until it stops,
and maybe then,,
i could play it again..
play it right this time..

If I Just Have Known

if i knew it would take long to hold you again,,
i should have not lost my grip even for a while..
if i knew it would take long to see you again,,
i should have stared and have not blinked at all..
if i knew it would take long to talk to you again..
i should have uttered everything and have not hold back a little..
if only i knew all these things,,
i wouldn’t be bothered with all these memories..
but i’m not losing hope..
i’ll still be waiting for that day..
the day when all my "i should have"s,,
will turn to "i had"s..

Lost

Posted: January 15, 2007

i know i had been full of shortcomings
about the thing between us..

i know i took you for granted
most of the time..

i know i haven’t showed you enough
to mean what i’m saying..

i know i was just good with words..

i have proved nothing..

i love you but i didn’t
see all your worth until your gone..

now i’m suffering the whack
of this boomerang..

‘coz it’s striking me twice..

the simple scratch is now bleeding..

the simple disease is now close to dying..

but inspite all d pain, i tried to hold on..

now i’m not sure if i’ll still tighten my grip
or just loosen it up and let go..

i want to grasp..
but you’re giving me reasons to give in..

My Emo Days

HAHA. Found my old posts in my Fster Blog. How I wish I still write the same way as then.

Pigilan

walang magawa..

tinatawag na naman para mag-isip..

muli raw alalahanin mgapangyayari..

na pilit ng pininid sa kahon..

upang sugat na dulot ay unti-unti ng maghilom..

ngunit dahil walang magawa..

muling sinagot ang tawag..

kandado’y nabuksan at sugat muling nagdugo..

hindi mabura, hindi mawaglit,

hindi maalis, hindi mabalewala..

hindi matularan ang nagagawa mo..!

sana’y turuan mo ko..

makalimot ng ganoong kadali..

piga na ang sarili sa pagsusumiksik,

sa mundo ng kaligayahan..

ngunit tila ayaw ako papasukin,

2wing nkikita nila, aking dibdib na puno ng iyong mukha..

hindi mapigilan sagutin ang tawag ng iyong alaala..

ano mang pilit, ilan pang subok..

Reminisce

A poem again i made way back a year ago [April 16, 2007 to be exact]. During my own days of emptiness.

Wala Na

san man muling liparin ng gunita..

isang bagay ang nakataga na..

wala na ang damdamin..

damdaming ilang ulit naghintay at nasaktan..

nang una’y inakala, ito’y di magbabago..

ngunit kaya pala ng sobrang sakit na ito’y unti-unting maglaho..

inakalang makakaya lahat,

subalit natutunang pagpapalaya’y higit ang buhat..

anumang nararamdamang pag-asa noon,

dulot na lamang ng mga nakasanayang araw..

inakalang buhay pang damdamin,

dala na lamang ng alaalang ayaw limutin..

ngayo’y naliwanagan na, damdamin sa isa’t-isa’y

pareho pa rin - parehong wala na..

ang masakit na katotohanan lang..

pag-ibig niya’y naglaho sabay sa panahong ito’y pinaglalaban ko pa..

A Memorable Poem

From Friendster Blog. Posted April 29, 2007

I received a comment from a reader for this post. And it really feels good to be acknowledged.

i smile. i laugh hard.

but that doesn’t mean i’m happy.

though i seem to be,

do you really think i am?

i listen, but i don’t understand.

'coz i don't give a damn

with things my mind can’t bear..

i’m thinking of something..

i’m thinking of what to think about..

but my mind has nothing..

i can feel..

but somehow i think i’m numb..

i can see..

but in a way i’m blind..

insensitive yet knowledgeable..

knowledgeable in the sense that

i know i’m insensitive.

but said i’m also blind in a way.

so am i really insensitive?

or just blind not see.

and eventually not to feel?

is insensitivity subjective or objective?

am i imposing it or this is what i really am?

Mea Culpa

From Friendster Blog. Posted September 24, 2007

i hope you know that breaking you breaks me more.
i never intended to make feel you whatever you had felt.
and i do hope you also know that i felt twice the feeling it caused you.
it pains me seeing you in agony.
and it pains me even more knowing that i caused such unwanted feeling.
my bad.
sorry.
seriously.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

isn’t it amazing seeing yourself reflecting back at you?
i mean seeing your life just in front of you.
that no matter how shitty it may had gotten,
just upon seeing this other you made you wonder
if you’ve really been too good to have received such blessing.

simply staring at him stopped the time,
made you forget about the damn world,
and eases all the anxiety thrown upon you.

it made me realize, life’s not that unfair.